The use of words expressing something other then their natural intention: THAT IS IRONY!

This is a game I have been thinking up for a long time. Basically, I will write a story with a cliffhanger type end, and I will reward points to the people whoever writes the most ironic ending. Score chart below:

Best answer: 25 points.
Worst answer: -5 points.
Good answer: 0-20 points.
Bad answer: -3-0

This will be updated every three to seven days.. Here's this weeks story:

He slowly creeped down the hallway, knowing the killer could be anywhere. He tiptoed down the creepy old hallway, looking into each empty room as he found his way to the back of the house. He had looked in all the other rooms, but had found no sign of the horrible killer. He was at the last door, and he gripped the handle. He slowly began pushing open the door, and looked in to find...

Irony, hopefully. Post please. As soon as I have enough posts, I will score them.

Hero Number of posts : 313 Registration date : 2009-02-23

..a mirror. As he stood there he came to realize the killer had been with him all along. The killer had never been lurking in the shadows to get him because the killer had always been inside him.. Itching to get out and kill others.. Killing himself was never in the agenda afterall. That just wouldn't be satisfying bloodshed.

...Rorschach, who proceeded to light matches on the floor and use an aerosol can to light the unlucky man on fire. The man had thought of himself as a killer, reconsidering what he was doing - was it truly for the benefit of the city, or mankind as a whole, to jail a man who was starkly against criminals, and would gladly remove them from society, preventing the destruction of innocent lives? He screamed hideously, but what he was thinking was He' s right to stand up to the law. If I survive... I'm going to live my life for the betterment of mankind.

A fellow teammate, who was the second last man on his team. ''Right.'' Said the leaf camouflaged man.
''The bomb is still at the middle of the house. I think that he's camping in the room next to where that machine gunner guy died.'' He gets down into prone position and starts crawling towards the sun lit entrance. ''Who was using a fucking Type 99!'' A squealing adolescent voice is heard through the headset. ''It's not my fault all the good guns are reset after prestige, I'd be using the damn FG-42!'' A sigh is heard through the headset and another voice is heard. ''Shut up you fucking noob, let them get to the damn bomb.'' You press the back button and the leader board comes up.
3P1C N00B 5L4Y3R was up to five kills, and zero deaths. The only surviving man on the Imperial Army team.
The Second Voice shows up again, this time talking to you. ''Fucking hell dude, a Thompson? Why the fuck aren't you using the damn STG.'' The leaf man gets up again, and turns towards you, his unwieldy sniper rifle easily hauled by his strong arms. ''I don't think he-'' He was cut short by a large gunshot and a small notice across the bottom of the screen.

3P1C N00B 5L4Y3R Killed Sniper Dood 1234.

''FUCKING NOOOOOOOOOOOB!!!!!!!!'' Cries the fallen Sniper. ''YOU ASSWIPING PUSSY FACED CUNT!'' The man continues to swear like an injured sailor. ''I fucking HATE search and destroy!''
You stay still out of site until you hear the mysterious American Commander Shout.
''DOGS! COMING RIGHT AT US!''
You know now to run, but all too late you see a black hound charging towards you at lightspeed. You try to fire but you have to reload, as it jumps you realize all too late. You were playing Hardcore

Mysteria Kiito wrote:: ..a mirror. As he stood there he came to realize the killer had been with him all along. The killer had never been lurking in the shadows to get him because the killer had always been inside him.. Itching to get out and kill others.. Killing himself was never in the agenda afterall. That just wouldn't be satisfying bloodshed.

Goddamn it MK, that was exactly what I was going to write, and then I scroll down....grrr.

Tprime wrote:: Goddamn it MK, that was exactly what I was going to write, and then I scroll down....grrr.

WAY TO GO JERKFACE, YOUR NOT IRONIC! I didn't want to give one of them worst answer, next time post SOMETHING. -5

StoneSycst wrote:: A fellow teammate, who was the second last man on his team. ''Right.'' Said the leaf camouflaged man.
''The bomb is still at the middle of the house. I think that he's camping in the room next to where that machine gunner guy died.'' He gets down into prone position and starts crawling towards the sun lit entrance. ''Who was using a fucking Type 99!'' A squealing adolescent voice is heard through the headset. ''It's not my fault all the good guns are reset after prestige, I'd be using the damn FG-42!'' A sigh is heard through the headset and another voice is heard. ''Shut up you fucking noob, let them get to the damn bomb.'' You press the back button and the leader board comes up.
3P1C N00B 5L4Y3R was up to five kills, and zero deaths. The only surviving man on the Imperial Army team.
The Second Voice shows up again, this time talking to you. ''Fucking hell dude, a Thompson? Why the fuck aren't you using the damn STG.'' The leaf man gets up again, and turns towards you, his unwieldy sniper rifle easily hauled by his strong arms. ''I don't think he-'' He was cut short by a large gunshot and a small notice across the bottom of the screen.

3P1C N00B 5L4Y3R Killed Sniper Dood 1234.

''FUCKING NOOOOOOOOOOOB!!!!!!!!'' Cries the fallen Sniper. ''YOU ASSWIPING PUSSY FACED CUNT!'' The man continues to swear like an injured sailor. ''I fucking HATE search and destroy!''
You stay still out of site until you hear the mysterious American Commander Shout.
''DOGS! COMING RIGHT AT US!''
You know now to run, but all too late you see a black hound charging towards you at lightspeed. You try to fire but you have to reload, as it jumps you realize all too late. You were playing Hardcore

Took it too far, go for the short, sweet irony next time. Length isn't quality. +5

Tirin wrote:: ...Rorschach, who proceeded to light matches on the floor and use an aerosol can to light the unlucky man on fire. The man had thought of himself as a killer, reconsidering what he was doing - was it truly for the benefit of the city, or mankind as a whole, to jail a man who was starkly against criminals, and would gladly remove them from society, preventing the destruction of innocent lives? He screamed hideously, but what he was thinking was He' s right to stand up to the law. If I survive... I'm going to live my life for the betterment of mankind.

Did NOT see that one coming. At all. +18

Mysteria Kiito wrote:: ..a mirror. As he stood there he came to realize the killer had been with him all along. The killer had never been lurking in the shadows to get him because the killer had always been inside him.. Itching to get out and kill others.. Killing himself was never in the agenda afterall. That just wouldn't be satisfying bloodshed.

Way to go, you're the least ironic, and your answer was the worst. +25

CURRENT STANDINGS:
Mysteria Kiito: 25 points queen

Tirin: 18 points
StoneSycst: 5 points
Tprime: -5 jocolor

Now, put your irony caps on for THIS baby:

"Well", Sherlock said, turning to the Commisioner, "It would seem a murderer is afoot. And the killer is in this very room!" He paused as everyone in the room gasped. "You see, judging by the mud on his shoes, I deduced the man had gone outside, and judging by the ashes on his pants, the burn on his shirt, and the small box in his pocket, I would say it was to smoke a cigarette. Now, here on his throat are the markings of a strangling, here around the wound where his throat was cut. So, judging by these indisputable proof, the killer must invariably be..."

YOU decide!

A herring!

Hero Number of posts : 313 Registration date : 2009-02-23

At that point Sherlock was reaching into his coat for a cigarette. Everyone in the room looks at him with mouths agape,inspecting him and finding him to match his own description. Sherlock paused before revealing more. Watson facepalmed himself.

"Of course though the victim is just a fatherless bastard drunk so who really gives a fuck?"

..."Society." Sherlock said, his voice breaking at the futility of it all. "Society killed this man, for he was society himself. And now that he is gone, we can only pick up the shattered remains of our lives and hope futilely to fit them all back together!" He said, sobbing and drawing everyone near for a group hug. Indeed, the man had actually chosen what society wished him to, and hence was no victim of any other man, for they would all be content with his actions. The killer... The killer was the man himself, symbolic of society's eventual decline.